No Child Left Behind--Behind What?

Today reminded me of an old Fritz Kreisler story. The noted violinist was walking through a fish market one day when he passed a counter full of dead mackerels, staring at him through blank eyes with mouths open in a kind of stupefied wonder.
He paused to look at them. “My God,” he suddenly exclaimed, “that reminds me! I’m supposed to be at a concert this afternoon!”
I have often thought of that story while standing in front of a class of college or high school students. I lecture, vainly imagining someone will take a note or two (forgive the immodesty but I have never been accused of being a boring lecturer). One or two pencils twitch. Blank eyes (blank minds?) and an occasional gaping mouth.
When I taught American history as a college adjunct, I tested something each semester. “There are,” I would point out, two Treaties of Paris significant for Americans. I’m going to ask you about them on the next test.” Then I would write on the board:
“Treaty of Paris, 1763, between France and England—France gave Canada to England. Treaty of Paris, 1783, between England and the United States—England gave the US its independence. That’s all you have to know. These WILL be on the test.”
I would usually write it out a second time, refer to it three or four more times, and lecture on each when we got to that period in American history. These will appear on the test, I would keep reminding. Come the test, I’d ask them to tell about the treaties. At least half of every class would draw a complete blank. Astonishing.
I’d tell them to read a chapter and assure them there would be a quiz (“just to keep you honest”). I’d get the same results. As much as half the class would offer no evidence of even having the book open to those pages, let alone reading them. Again, astonishing.
I’m probably not as clever as today’s students—but if an instructor warned me that something was surely going to appear on the mid-term, I’d jolly well get THAT question down pat. Warn me of a quiz, and I would have read the chapter with at least a modicum of attention.
So would most of the people I went to school with back in the Eisenhower era. What on earth has happened? I’ve read some articles suggesting that the problem/cause is all of these electronic marvels kids have today—it leaves them bored with reading and note taking. But … .
It’s the blank eyed disinterest in ANY subject (as a high school substitute I’ve been in classrooms for every subject known to man) that baffles me. I’m talking about kids from middle-class homes who are expecting to move on to college.
Today I had the joy of administering the “Common Assessment” test to several classrooms of high school kids. They were supposed to read a passage (in more advanced classes, two) and write a “compare and contrast essay” on the subject.
They were given questions and suggestions (“use quotes”), almost to the point of being spoon fed. Many were done in minutes, handing in slap dash essays of ten or fifteen lines. I asked one girl why her essay had no quotes. “I didn’t read the instructions,” she replied off-handedly.
I read them to you, I pointed out. “I wasn’t listening.” You and the whole class. These tests come out of the “No Child Left Behind” movement. They are supposed to have some impact on student futures and school funding.
No one seemed to care. I gave a quiz on two chapters in “The Great Gatsby” in one class. Most of the class seemed to leave up to half of the ten questions blank, not even attempting a BS answer. Not caring enough. Heaven help us.
Don’t sweat it, Fritz. If you don’t show up, much of today’s audience probably wouldn’t notice.